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lucuha:

me: hey American friend i bought this football for you

American friend: *stops playing the banjo and cleaning their guns and drinking their soda* Oh y’all know me too well I love them good ol’ sports hell yeah 

(via africandad)

Source: lucuha
Text

yosssarian:

if pooh bear can wear a crop top so can i

(via theawkwardmuggle)

Source: yosssarian
Text

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

(via dutchster)

Source: literallyrad
Text

literallyrad:

there are approximately 1,013,913 words in the english language but i could never string any of them together to explain how much i want to hit you with a chair.

(via dutchster)

Source: literallyrad
Photo

whiteboyfriend:

is this the arctic monkeys

(via cumfort)

Source: thesimpsonswayoflife
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buzzfeed:

thegrumppuccino:

actual-mother-john-watson:

notexactlyninja:

geekophiliac:

jeantakethespookycock:

didney-worl-no-uta:

back-it-up-elizabethbanks:

fagflow:

I put him in jail bc I swear he talked without batteries once

LET ME FUCKIN TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT SOME FERBIES. MY COUSIN AND I HAD HEARD SOME CRAZY ASS RUMORS THAT THESE FUCKERS DID SHIT WITHOUT BATTERIES SO WE DECIDED HEY LETS TEST THIS SHIT. WE WERE FUCKING HOME ALONE RIGHT AND WE LOCKED THIS FUCKER IN A STEEL BOX WITH NO BATTERIES. WE BOTH WENT OUTSIDE, LOCKED THE DOORS AND WE CAME BACK AND THAT FUCKING THING WAS OUT OF THE BOX AND WAS FUCKING TALKING AND SHIT WE BURNED THAT FUCKER WITHIN LIKE FIVE FUCKIN MINUTES. 

Moral of the story: DONT BUY FUCKING FURBIES

FOR REAL GUYS THIS IS NO FUCKING JOKE

THESE FUCKERS WILL CONTINUE TO TALK AND MOVE EVEN WITHOUT THE FUCKING BATTERIES 

THEY’RE TERRIFYING AS SHIT AND THEY’RE OUT TO PUT AN END TO THE HUMAN RACE

DON’T FUCKING BUY FURBIES

DONT BUY THEM OH MY GOD. LAST YEAR I WORKED AT TOYS ‘R US AROUND THE TIME THE NEW LINE OF THOSE FUCKERS CAME OUT. THEY SOLD OUT WITHIN A WEEK. NOTHING WEIRD HAPPENED BUT THEN A LADY RETURNED ONE CAUSE SHE SAID IT WOULDNT TURN OFF. WE TOOK IT BACK AND SINCE IT WAS “BROKEN” WE KEPT IT IN OUR STAFF ROOM. THEN I WAS IN THERE ALONE AND IT WAS SITTING ON THE TABLE WITH NO BATTERIES IN IT. THEN THE FUCKING FERBIE STARTED MAKING NOISE THAT DIDNT SOUND LIKE WHAT FURBIEA SHOULD SOUND LIKE. IT WAS LIKE DEMONIC SCREECHING. I PUT THE LITTLE SHIT IN AN EMPTY LOCKER AND WHEN I TOLD MY MANAGER HE PUT IT IN THE BROKEN TOY BIN.

THEN I WENT OUT TO WORK AGAIN AND WHEN I CAME INTO THE STAFF ROOM AFTER MY SHIFT, THE FURBIE WAS ON THE TABLE AGAIN. YEAH DONT BUY THOSE FUCKERS

I HAVE MY OWN STORY TO ADD. I ONCE HAD A FURBIE, BUT ONCE IT DIED WE NEVER REPLACED THE BATTERIES AND JUST LET IT LAY DORMANT FOR A WHILE. MY COUSIN (WHO MIGHT I ADD, WAS A 22 YEAR OLD MAN AT THAT TIME) WAS HOUSESITTING FOR US AND THE FURBIE WAS TUCKED AWAY ON A SHELF IN OUR CELLAR. HE WENT DOWN TO GO DO SOME LAUNDRY AND THAT LITTLE SHIT OPENED ITS EYES AND MUTTERED “PEEKABOO”. MY COUSIN ATTACKED IT AND THREW IT OUTSIDE, AND IT WAS LATER TOSSED IN THE DUMPSTER. IM STILL AFRAID THAT THIS FURBIE WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT ME. DO NOT BUY THESE THEY ARE FUCKING DEMENTED!!!!

OKAY STORY TIME SO LAST CHRISTMAS MY COUSIN GOT ONE OF THESE FUCKERS EXCEPT IT WAS ONE OF THE NEW ELECTRONIC ONES AND THOSE ARE JUST AS BAD. THE BATTERIES ARE SEALED IN WITH SCREWS, AND NO ONE HAD A SCREWDRIVER THAT FIT, SO WE WERE FORCED TO DEAL WITH THIS THING THE WHOLE TIME. THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE DAMN THING WILL GO TO ‘SLEEP’, BUT ANY SORT OF MOVEMENT WILL WAKE IT UP AND CAUSE IT TO DEMONICALLY LAUGH. ANOTHER COUSIN GOT UP FOR A GLASS OF WATER AT TWO IN THE MORNING THAT NIGHT, WALKED BY THE CLOSET WHERE WE’D SHOVED IT IN FEAR, AND HIS FOOTSTEPS WOKE THE FUCKING THING UP AND IT STARTED LAUGHING AND WOULDN’T STOP FOR THE NEXT HOUR. DON’T BUY THESE FUCKING THINGS. THEY’RE DEMONIC.

the amount of personal stories is alarming

MINE WOULD STILL TALK YEARS AFTER TAKING OUT THE BATTERIES HOLY SHIT I’M GLAD OTHER PEOPLE NOTICED THE SAME THING. THE ONLY KNOWN METHOD OF KILLING THEM IS SETTING IT ON FIRE.

OK SO NO JOKE WE HAD THREE FURBIES IN THE BUZZFEED OFFICE AND WE PUT THEM ALL IN A SMALL CONFERENCE ROOM FACING EACH OTHER ON A TABLE SO THEY COULD TALK TO EACH OTHER AND AFTER A WEEK OR SO THEY JUST DISAPPEARED AND WE NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN AND I THINK MAYBE WE SUMMONED THE ELDER GODS OR CREATED SKYNET OR SOMETHING.

Source: fagflow
Answer
  • Question: You gay? - Anonymous
  • Answer:

    coolator:

    buzzfeed:

    We are a website.

    answer the question

Source: buzzfeed
Photo Set
Photo
lohvleelunatic:

phibbnewton:

scoot scoot scoot

Look at this cute little fucker go

lohvleelunatic:

phibbnewton:

scoot scoot scoot

Look at this cute little fucker go

(via itsrebeccablack)

Source: frankie40hands
Text

queerbriel:

welcome to womens clothing where the sizes are made up and the measurements don’t matter

(via thelifeinabubble)

Source: queerbriel
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ammit420:

diarrhea-princess:

People who drink milk gross me tf out

*headbutts this post and it shatters into a million pieces cuz it got weak ass bones*

(via unprime)

Source: diarrhea-princess
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warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(via departured)

Source: wartortles
Text

that-girl-helen:

"actually, that was due today”

image

(via totally-relatable)

Source: that-girl-helen
Video

weloveshortvideos:

Guy’s Review of Right Guard Deodorant Ends Unexpectedly

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

Source: weloveshortvideos.com
Video